• Amanda Miller and Karla Kadlec

Understanding FEAR!

I am a complex emotion. I can stop you in your tracks, I can project you into the future, and I can take away your dreams in the blink of an eye. I plague you in a variety of ways but I can also keep you safe. I am what many might call a frenemy.

Sometimes, I actually serve a purpose. The bottom line is that I exist to help keep you safe. You call this the fight or flight response. When you are in danger, I am called into action. At my very core I am wired for self preservation. I catalase activity in the body and in the nervous system so you can protect yourself. I play a valuable role in life that often goes unappreciated.

Those of you that have very little of me tend to take unnecessary risks and get involved in extreme situations.

Then there are those of you that have become confused about what is a threat or not. To you, everything is threatening. So you let me guide your every move.

Essentially I express myself in a variety of different ways within your life. Take a moment to identify and wonder about how I am showing up for you in your life and how you can let me do what I naturally do when actual threats are present.

  • Is the fear you are feeling related to the fear of death, annihilation, or ceasing to exist? Can you identify where this fear is coming from? How is it harming you to live in fear? Why is it more comfortable for you to be in fear than it is to live your life fully? How would you live your life differently if you did not experience this fear? Bottom line, is the fear of death keeping you alive? Can you control death by fearing it?

  • Or is your fear more related to having your boundaries invaded - either physically or emotionally? What bad thing do you think will happen if your boundaries become invaded? Do you believe that whatever or whoever is “invading” you will cause damage? Is it painful to have people in your space? Why? Do you invade other people’s boundaries? Why?

  • What about the fear of being immobilized, restricted, overwhelmed, or entrapped? Do you have a fear of being controlled by circumstances beyond your control? Why is it uncomfortable for you to surrender? Is there a way that you can accept your life’s circumstances as if you had chosen them? Why do you fear limitation? Can you see any value in limitation?

  • Is your fear connected to feelings of abandonment, rejection, or disrespect? Why is it so important to you to seek acceptance from others? Do you know what it means to be deeply connected to yourself? Do you know what it feels like to stand solid within yourself? What would you have to let go of to get to that place? How do you think you would feel in your life if you were able to let go of this kind of fear?

  • A lot of what we fear in life stems from a challenge to our identity or who we think we are. Is the fear you are feeling related to the disintegration of your constructed sense of who you are? In other words, the integrity of who you think you are (Self)? Why does it feel scary to let go of all the things you think about yourself? What if everything you think and feel about yourself is false and is just a construct of your mind to make you feel important, meaningful or good? Would you fear dissipate if you could understand that it is only coming from a belief about yourself that is untrue?

Thank you for reading! Please leave a comment below: how has fear shaped your life?

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