• Amanda Miller and Karla Kadlec

Let Sparks Fly - Light Up Your Sexual Energy


Let the sparks fly with new insights into yourself.

Just as the symptoms within your body can be a reflection of the pain and discomfort in your mind - the experience of your life is too. When there is contraction in your life (your sex life), there is also contraction in your mind. The beliefs and ideals you have about life (or sex and intimacy), also known as your conditioning or programming, becomes the box you live within or the rules you live by. In other words, this conditioning or mental programming plays a key role in how you life your life. It controls your use of time, it controls your creativity, your emotions, your productivity, your decisions, and your expression!

We humans are innately designed to protect ourselves. And when our thoughts tells us, especially our non-conscious thoughts, that our ideas, desires, and wants are silly (shameful, humiliating, etc) or ‘bad’ then we automatically reject them and repress our natural expression. Only when you can shift your thinking, do you have the potential to change your habits and behaviours and ultimately generate the courage to express yourself naturally.

Sex and intimacy are highly emotional topics that many people have blocks around due to traumatic experiences. These blocks are limiting our ability to express ourselves, experience pleasure, and know intimacy.

Consider the questions below to help detoxify your sex life and your sexual energy. Take some time and space to allow yourself to examine the issues and experiences that are limiting you and the rules you live by.

These are not ordinary questions because we are not looking for ordinary. It will take some deep consideration, contemplation and lateral thinking to be able to answer them. The idea is to question your experience, beliefs and ‘usual’ ways of thinking. If you are used to things being a certain way ask yourself, why!

We recommend journaling as you ask yourself these questions. Allow your mind to express itself fully. You may find some of your answers surprising! This is what we want. Write your answers down as an exploration of your personal perspective. Many times you will find that your personal perspective is helping you and other times you will find that your personal perspective is nothing more than conditioning and beliefs that are locking in old patterns and symptoms. With no one else around to influence your answers you can uncover truths only you know about you. Write freely and without judgment. Let the words flow onto the page with a sense of curiosity and wonder. As you process your thoughts and feelings be sure to tune into your breath. Your breath is a powerful healing and processing mechanism, as well as, a key player in moving sexual energy through the body. Breathe!!!

Questions to reflect on for those that want to heal sexual blocks and clear the way for a deeper experience beneath the sheets:

  • Do you know your body well? Are you comfortable with all parts of your body?

  • Are you comfortable with your sexual parts? What sorts of feelings have you learned to associate with your sexual organs?

  • Are you approaching sex as a habit (or worse yet, as a chore)? How would it feel to approach sex as an opportunity to explore your edges, pleasures, or as an adventure?

  • When you are having sexual interactions, do you engage all of your senses? Or do you operate on autopilot? Why? What would happen if you were to allow yourself to “feel” more or become more sensitive?

  • Is it hard for you to feel vulnerable and open? Why is it more comfortable to you to close yourself off? What do you fear about vulnerability and openness? What would happen if you were to open up a little?

  • Do you feel taken advantage of (like a sex object)? Used by others? How do you benefit from thinking that people are taking advantage of you? Why is it hard to see people as trusting and authentic?

  • Do you view others as sexual objects? Is that a way for you to feel more in control?

  • Are you always attempting to control your your partner? What would be the worst thing that would happen if you were to let go of the reins a little and let your partner lead? How do you think your partner feels in your presence when you are always attempting to control them or the situation?

  • Does holding on to control ensure that you never have to leave your comfort zone? Has it taken the curiosity out of your sexual expression? What would happen if you let yourself become curious rather than controlling?

  • Have you shut yourself down from exploring? Do you find it difficult to explore thoughts and ideas? Why? Does it feel overwhelming? Does it feel naughty? Does it feel wasteful? How can you bring more curiosity into your life?

  • What about your ability to reach an orgasm? Do you have fear, shame, or pressure preventing you from fully experiencing this type of release? Do you make time or give yourself the space to practice this skill?

  • Do you view an orgasm as the goal of sexual interaction? Why? How is it limiting you to view sex in this way?

Now take several moment to breathe. This is an important step. Allow your breath to process everything you have explored. Let your breath take away and release anything you no longer need. Do that for a few minutes. Now acknowledge the natural rocking movements of the pelvis and allow the breath to flow freely throughout. Put one hand on your heart and one hand on your pelvis to anchor your new insights and awareness.

We hope this helped you gain some new awareness about yourself. Releasing your sexual blocks and detoxifying your sexual energy can occur in layers. Don’t hesitate to revisit these questions again.

Thank you for reading!

Does this article resonate with you? Check out our Free App!

The iWonder App contains a library of thought provoking questions that specifically correlate to the psychology of each part of the body. The questions are designed to draw your (or your client’s) attention to the psychological and emotional concerns that are contributing to any physical problems.

iWonder BodyMind App - Free Download

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